Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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