508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
try to milk me bitch
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