Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Mom said you looked used
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
