Christians are straight up FREAKS
My friends, they love my intelligence
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
