Duck Duck Cougar?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
