Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
