Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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