I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
