Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
