Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
