I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
