her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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