Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
