oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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