shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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