i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
