btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
