did you get engaged???
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
