I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
