I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
