I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
