his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
