At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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