I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
