Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
