So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
