Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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