There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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