So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
