did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
