He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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