i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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