Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
