i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
