He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
