I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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