Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
