A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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