Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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