I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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