the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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