dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish you could order shots online.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
