Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
"it" just moved
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
