I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
