Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
