The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is wine microwaveable?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How does one acquire holy water?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
