Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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