No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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