My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
