i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
