i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
