he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this will be a night to untag.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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