i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
