AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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