Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
