Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
